"Affairs of the Heart"
Posted: Wednesday, January 14, 2009
by Deborah Hall-Branch
Fruit of the Spirit Ministry
Signs of "Valentine's Day" rapidly approaching us can already be seen. Department; as well as, our local stores has begun to fill their shelves with all sorts of intriguing artifacts to help many express their love for one another.
We could even venture to glance back at the historical beginning of this traditional holiday. Although its name generates from among several Christian martyrs it appears that the St. Valentine described in connection with February fourteenth was either a Priest in Rome , or, a martyr in the Roman province of Africa . (Reference Wikipedia)
As I began to think on this subject more and more, I questioned within, "What if God only showed His love for us one day out of a year?" This geared me to write my "Valentine's Day" article ahead of time.
About twenty years ago, a tiny six week old baby by the name of Herbie entered our lives. We met one evening after I'd returned home from work. There he was on my bed this wonderful little creature wrapped up tightly in a blue receiving blanket. My youngest daughter Tina wasn't your average rescuer. Most children are known for bringing home stray pets. She, instead, brought home many whose little eyes for some times reasons unknown were void of love's glimmer.
With expectation of rescue she'd bring them. They'd remain with us every so often for a short period. Always with great measures of love we'd receive them caring for each one as though they were our own.
Half African-American and Philippine, with long black straight hair, big dark eyes; when Herbie cried a loud shriek bellowed from within. Often I wondered "How could something so small sound so loud?" His mother a young Philippine girl whose parents disowned her never really knew true love's countless benefits. Both my daughters with tears in their eyes pleaded with me to let him stay.
"Who's going to take care of him?" I asked.
They were both still in Junior High School. My husband and I worked while taking turns caring for my elderly mother who suffered with rheumatoid arthritis. But, it seemed the more I refused to keep him, the more Tina brought him home until we finally gave in. Upon that decision, we all came to an agreement. His mother kept him during the week, me on the weekends.
But, some how that even changed. I had him throughout the week, she most times on weekends until in due course that too stopped. Herbie began to live with us permanently.
Sometime after he'd turned two years old, I'd come home from work one day with expectations of him standing in the doorway where he generally awaited my arrival. But this particular day he wasn't there.
Upon entering, there he sat on the stairway resting his face in his tiny hands. Distraught, he never even seen me enter. As to not frighten him, I quietly sat beside him on the stair where he sat.
Herbie, what's the matter?" I asked.
Troubled, he glanced up at me with eyes full of tears. They'd streamed down his cheeks building a puddle under his chin. The hurt in them began to worry me. With every fiber of strength within he asked, "Why Tonja doesn't love me?"
At that very moment, a huge lump evaded my throat as tears welled up in my eyes. I knew if I spoke, I too would cry. Instead, I swallowed hard. It took all strength to hold them back until he crawled up in my arms, and the dam broke. My heart flooded over. With my arms wrapped tightly around him, he hugged my neck sobbing softly.
"Mommy loves you. She's just having a hard time right now." I whispered in his ear. His mother could not give him what she didn't have. And, even though we surrounded him with it, his expectations were in her.
Who could ever imagine a two year old suffering with "Affairs of the Heart?" All around the world there is people in distress suffering from this unsympathetic disease. Some have even taught themselves how to function with heartbreak each and every day. But, underneath, lies nothing more than tiny little broken pieces of flesh. Yet, they get dress; go to work, school, only to appear as though they're functioning.
But, what mere eye can't see is they're really holograms, assimilations of happy people. Herbie couldn't fathom his own Mommy not loving him. We all did our best, but nothing filled the void in his heart. On bad days he'd revert back into the hurt. Often I'd find him balled up in a fetal position with his thumb in his mouth; a replica of the bond between a mother and her unborn child. With his blue receiving blanket in his hand he emotionally visualized himself back in the womb.
Today, there are so many inside the church; as well as, out who are brokenhearted just merely functioning, afraid to every trust again. With their receiving blankets of past memories in hand they search for a place within before their pain. Over time, if not healed they eventually make a decision to never love or care again. Bitterness sets in which causes them soon to become cold, callous, withdrawn.
Before long, I noticed nothing helped my little Herbie. So without any further delay I began to take him to church. At home we talked about Jesus. He loved worship and learned most of the songs. Whenever we had altar call for the children, he'd say, "Come on Mommy, let's go see Jesus."
Not too long after, we began to observe a change in him. He became a happy, mischievous toddler who no longer hid behind me when his mother visited. Even after she'd leave he remained the "New Little Herbie" who walked around in my heels and often chained my mother to the bed with his toy handcuffs while she slept.
When we hear the word "Affair" we readily relate it to relationships outside of marriage.
But, if the truth be made known, some of us have had affairs with rejections, let downs, resentment all resulting in hurt. Psalms 27:10 says, "When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up." God gave that to me one day in my own despair. Hurt has one time or another taken place in all of our hearts. You must know that you can place them in Christ's' healing hands. Like little Herbie, no matter whom you are, He's there for you. King David found himself many days in an affair with heartbreak. He stressed in Psalms 55:12, "For it was not an enemy that reproached me" Many of who hurt him was even family members, and others he called friends.
Herbie taught me how to come as a child. Today, break off the affair of being a mere functioning hologram. Throw out all pains emotional pictures. Ask Christ for help. Let Valentine's Day help you to focus on those you love, but don't let one day stop you. Employ it everyday.
"Happy Valentine's Day"
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Top-level comments on this article: (9 total)Eeven in mathers womb that baby knows, feels hears and reacts. It is life and yes the heart is where we have failed withour young. A truly great artcile, thanks.Robert, thank you so much for your comment. I'm glad you enjoyed the article. I agree, we have failed our young, and today those "failed hearts" stand in need of healing.Be Blessed.DeborahI don't know why lately all the misspelling? I look and look but it seems to always be? Time for new glasses or the conversion is messing me up even with spell check. Great Job.
Deb,Thanks for sharing this with us. I couldn't have stated this better myself: "...I love special holidays just as much as anyone else, but often questioned why we linger showing our true sentiments for one another until an exact date. Yes, it initiates great expectations which I also look forward too. Unfortunately though, for some, those expectations have left hearts full of sorrow..."ThanksRonyae,Thank you for reading my article. Let's pray that those sorrowed hearts this year will be filled with an even greater expectation, "Joy."DeborahDeb,I truly agree~Stay Blessed~
Hi Deborah! Very touching and well written story! Personally, I think Valentine's Day, like you, should be every day not just one day out of the year.Thanks for sharing!Hi Thom,Thanks. Yeah, that would be great, and if everyone came to realize St. John 3:16 already declared it an every day holiday?Deborah
hi Deborah,this was a very well written, interesting article. love is sometimes a difficult thing to explain. thanks for sharing,my best regards,sue thomHi Sue,Love is sometimes difficult to explain, but what great pleasure it brings when it finally is expressed from a true heart.Thanks for reading my article. Blessings to you.Deborah
HI Deborah, beautiful. You have a wonderful gift which allows you to explain with such detai which allows the pictures to pour into the mind while reading.And I agree completely, real love and satisfying affection comes from believing that Jesus loves us and when we respond to it and surrender our lives to Him, no one can take our joy away no matter what comes our way.Thank you for sharing and reminding us of what matters most. Love and hugs, TeresaHi Teresa,I'm glad you enjoyed the article. St. John 3:16 an everday incentive to daily discover love's true meaning. Though we make great personal sacrifices each day of our lives, if we have not love they profit nothing.Be blessed always.Deborah
Oops, now you are going to have two comments from me :-)Thanks again for this encouraging story.
Beautiful reflections with an important message; thank you for sharing and writing . . .Thank you so much Walter for your comment. You're right, the message was important.Deborah
Deborah,Your story is touching..it brought tears to my eyes and joy to my heart. Beautifully written. Thank you.Nancy, thank you so much for your comment. Sorry it took so long to respond back, but you know how publishing can consume your very being. I share my stories in hopes they will help someone else in such hardship times.Deborah
Oh Deborah, this tore my heart apart and Love put it back together again. What a beautiful sad story wrapped in love then joy! Your definition of "affair" is one I had not thought of before. This was beautifully-written. Your family is blessed to have each other. You and your husband have been a shining light to your daughters. This is one amazing story of what, Jesus' love can do for us all, including a two year old. Wow!
Happy Valentine's Day to you; one who celebrates it daily!
Heartfelt thanks,
AvisAvis,Thank you so much. I cried through the reading of your comment. It brought such an encouragement to me. Just on yesterday I read this beautiful poem by Emily Dickinson titled, "If I Can Stop One Heart From Breaking." The first two lines read, "If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain..."They were my sentiments exactly.DeborahDeborah, such a tender, kind-hearted and loving lady you are. Your Emily Dickinson poem reminds me of the song, "If I can help somebody as I pass along . . . then my living shall not be in vain." I believe you may remember that one. I love how our Lord uses us to touch each other. Deborah, I pray we're always willing to allow Him to use us, too. You're so welcome and thank you, too.
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